Bill Clinton waits in his plane on the Phoenix tarmac for over half an hour until Loretta Lynch lands. He quickly gets off his plane and goes over to Loretta Lynch’s jet. She greets him.
Bill (whispering): Loretta, they may have bugged your plane. Let’s use a simple code. I will call the FBI team working on the indictment, “your grandchildren.” And I will call Hill’s campaign “my second grandchild.”
Loretta nods in agreement and gives him a wink. They enter Lynch’s plane and sit down.
Bill: Nice to see you, Loretta.
You certainly have come a long way since I appointed you as a Federal Attorney way back in 1999. You deserve everything you have come by. I do not ever want you to feel indebted to me. And I am delighted that nothing embarrassing came up when you were confirmed as US Attorney General.
Loretta: Bill, you have not changed a bit.
Bill: I understand your grandchildren have been running wild these days. Are you still having trouble reining them in?
Loretta: They have proven more difficult than I thought. They are at the stage where they keep getting into things and I have my hands full keeping them where they ought to be. You know how it is.
Bill: Loretta, I know how it is. But let me give you some advice. I know how to calm them down. I think you should send your grandchildren on a long vacation – until mid-November. That will keep them from getting into things.
Loretta: Bill, that will be very difficult. The President has developed a fondness for my grandchildren and their antics. You can understand that after the treatment he got from you in the 2008 primaries. Racist is what he calls it – and I certainly can appreciate that, you know. And he is equally fond of Joe Biden. So that vacation will be very, very difficult to arrange.
Bill: Did I ever tell you that we also did some investigation when you were up for confirmation as US Attorney General? When you were set to replace Eric Holder, we took a great interest in your career – as we always have. We thought we could help you out if the occasion arose. We found some very interesting material. Trivial – no matter how it might look in a court of law.