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Thursday, December 15, 2016

Trump Flips Out Over Negative Review of His Restaurant

This is Donald Trump's response to a Vanity Fair review of Trump Grill:

Snippets from the review:

Renowned butcher Pat LaFrieda once dared me to eat an eyeball that he himself popped out of the skull of a roasted pig. That eyeball tasted better than the Trump Grill’s (Grille’s) Gold Label Burger, a Pat LaFrieda–branded short-rib burger blend molded into a sad little meat thing, sitting in the center of a massive, rapidly staling brioche bun, hiding its shame under a slice of melted orange cheese. It came with overcooked woody batons called “fries”—how can someone mess up fries?—and ketchup masquerading as Heinz.

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[I]t was slop: as soon as I got home, I brushed my teeth twice and curled up in bed until the nausea passed.

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The one thing required to save the meal—booze—turned into its greatest disappointment. Trump himself does not drink alcohol, a possible explanation for why the cocktails seemed to be concocted by a college freshman experimenting in their [sic] dorm room.
   -RW

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