Thursday, July 23, 2020

The COVID-19 Mask-Freaks And Other Related Government Protocol Enforcers

Mask-wearing compliance in San Francisco area is now nearly 100%.

I don't wear a mask outside but I do inside--I would just be attacked not stop if I didn't wear it inside. I just keep the mask off my nose so that I don't breath back in the extra carbon dioxide and ethanol.

But my definition of "outside" is very broad. I don't wear masks on elevators, for example.

When I am using the elevator at my residence or office, I am on a high floor so I am usually the first on when it is heading down. When it opens to another floor, there is usually someone with a mask on waiting to head down.

The elevator protocols are that it is only one party at a time in the elevator but I will say to the mask wearer, "You can come on if you want." Half do and are grateful, half say they will wait for the next elevator.

But every once and a while you get a mask enforcer freak. But what is remarkable about these enforcers are their weakness of presence. I mean it is visible.

As I have mentioned before, there was one freak who told me he would wait for the next elevator but then said in an annoying voice, "You should be wearing a mask on the elevator." I responded, "I have a medical condition." (The medical condition being my blood pressure climbs when mini-Maos try to tell me what to do). What was most interesting about the exchange was that it was as if I had plugged him with a shotgun. After I said, I had a medical condition, he physically reacted. His body jerked back and his hands went up.

Pretty much the same thing occurred when I was in a parking garage elevator. I was on the elevator without a mask and it opened to a new floor where a man with a serious mask was standing. I did my usual, "You can come on if you want." He came in.

But there was a diagram in the elevator pointing out how passengers should social distance in the elevator. It was some kind of diagonal thing. He pointed out how confusing the diagram looked. I couldn't tell if he was just making small talk or attempting to hint that I stand diagonal from him.

I casually responded, "I am not a big fan of COVID protocol bullshit."

Bang. It was also as if I had plugged this guy. There was noticeable jerk backward and his hands went up. Interesting. The door opened and he got off.

Then there is this character.

I think he is Coast Guard, maybe Navy, I am not sure.

I was in a Chinese buffet-style restaurant grabbing a quick lunch. I was inside so I was wearing my mask. I was looking over the selections behind a plastic barrier when  he barked at me and I do mean barked, "Hey 6 feet social distancing."

Now, I was nowhere near this clown. In fact, the distance in the picture was not much different than when he barked.

I said to him, "What did you just say?"

It was clear he wasn't expecting a response to his bark. He turned away from me and ignored me.

As he left, I said, "Enjoy taking orders for the rest of your life."

He didn't look at me. I watched him head out and into the plaza. After he was 25 feet away outside the restaurant, he turned to look at me.

What a wimp.



  1. "Enjoy taking orders for the rest of your life." That's the best line I've heard yet! Can I borrow it?

  2. If the mask is so effective, then why do we need to keep six feet apart?

    1. That has been my question through this whole ridiculous episode of the Twilight Zone.

  3. "I have a condition. It's called 'intelligence'."

    1. I usually say that that my medical condition is "functional neocortex". Usually flies way over the head of these mental midgets.

  4. From the Johnson Co. Indiana sheriff’s FB page:
    Attention Johnson County Residents

    Governor Holcomb has enacted an executive order to mandate mask wearing in public places beginning Monday, July 27, 2020. As your elected Sheriff, I want to address this executive order and my stance on it:

    The Johnson County Sheriff’s Office will NOT be enforcing the executive order. We will continue to enforce the law as guided by the Constitution of the United States, the Constitution of the State of Indiana, and those laws which are put into place by our elected legislators, as we are sworn to do.

    Please do not contact the Sheriff’s Office or dispatch regarding violations of this executive order. Instead, you may contact the Indiana State Department of Health with any concerns or complaints. If a disturbance or other issue were to develop, deputies would respond as always; however, we will not respond solely for allegations of a violation of the executive order. Please remember that any business or organization may refuse service to any individual who refuses to wear a mask. Failure to leave the business or organization when asked could be treated as Criminal Trespass, with legal ramifications.

    Whether you support or oppose the Governor’s decision, I would like to encourage everyone to be respectful and tactful when addressing another person about their use of a mask. We all will get through this together!


    Sheriff Duane E. Burgess