Sunday, January 18, 2015

The Nature Bullies Have Infiltrated WalMart's TVs

By Chris Rossini

Over the weekend, I stopped at WalMart to pick up a couple of items. Each time I go, I like to stroll through the electronics section to marvel at one of the few areas of our economy where prices actually go down.

On this trip, I looked up at the giant wall of flatscreen TVs and heard a familiar voice. It was Julia Roberts narrating some kind of nature video. Images of rivers, mountains, and deserts rolled across the screens, and Julia's voice was in the background, but definitely loud enough to hear if you were in the area.

It wasn't until I stopped to listen to what Roberts was actually saying that I realized, this isn't some promo for a TV show on Discovery or whatever. This was a full-blown, nature bully produced propaganda video.

Here I am trying to have a nice day out, and the nature bullies have infiltrated WalMart's TVs!

I looked up this propaganda piece, and have transcribed the words that were hitting my stunned ears. Here is Julia Roberts acting as the voice of Nature, and this is what the nature bullies think Nature has to say to us:
Some call me Nature. Others call me Mother Nature. I've been here for over 4 1/2 billion years, 22 thousand 500 times longer than you.

I don't really need people, but people need me. Yes, your future depends on me. When I thrive, you thrive. When I falter, you falter....or worse.

But I've been here for eons. I have fed species greater than you, and I have starved species greater than you. My flowing forests.

They all can take you...or leave you.

How you choose to live each day, whether you regard or disregard me, doesn't really matter to me, one way or the other. Your actions will determine your fate, not mine.

I am Nature. I will go on. I am prepared to evolve. Are you?

And then at the very big bold letters: NATURE DOESN'T NEED PEOPLE....PEOPLE NEED NATURE.
If you have the stomach, here's the YouTube.

There one thing that I know about WalMart. They are obsessed with what happens on every square inch of their stores. This didn't just randomly appear...not with the incredible number of eyeballs that pass through the stores each day. This WalMart was no exception. It was packed.

So WalMart, as a customer of yours, I don't want to be propagandized when I'm shopping in your stores. It's a turn-off, and doesn't entice me to buy any of those amazing TVs.


  1. How come nobody ever considers that perhaps the purpose of humans is the same as the purpose of dandelion fluff?

    Maybe earth wants to reproduce and spread, like all things... and we humans are the vehicle?

    Here, I'll be the voice of nature: "A couple hundred years of pollution is a miniscule price to pay to move my seeds and life to other planets. Please don't fail to function as the reproductive organs I designed you for, or you will be eliminated. You can make Earth a park later if you feel you must, but We. Must. Spread."

    Julia Roberts: "No! We must quarantine Nature!!!"

    1. As George Carlin informed us in his act that DesertBunny refers to, humans exist because earth desired plastic.

  2. Chris, it's for your own good. Buying a TV will just make you stupid. Stay away from that crap!

  3. The piece unwittingly argues for non-intervention: no matter what people do nature will slough them off like a bad case of fleas, à la George Carlin in his "Save the Planet monologue. Therefore why waste time and money when nature will take it's due course!