Saturday, November 8, 2014

What If Politicians Had To Walk Around With A Libertarian Translator?

By Chris Rossini

What if politicians had to walk around with a libertarian translator?

Politicians love conjuring up laws, so what the heck?...Make it a new law. Every time a politician speaks, a libertarian (who has agreed to volunteer his time) is there to parse the truth out of the statement.

Yes, most disciples of political figures don't care about the truth, and are rabidly offended whenever they hear it, but there are more than enough bright people out there who would think twice about their current beliefs.

Let me show you how it's done.

So immediately after Cameron makes his statement, a good British libertarian (who is, by law, now a part of Cameron's entourage) would parse the truth out of it:
"Ladies and gentlemen, what the Prime Minister is saying is that one of the perks of joining the military is a monetary pension.

Now, keep in mind, that members of the military are trained by the government to gun down other people. It's more barbaric than you can imagine, and should not exist. But it does, and it's paid for with your earnings.
A pension means that after an unfortunate term of barbarism ends, British citizens will still have to work for money, which the British government steals (i.e., takes from you whether you consent or not) to hand over to the former military members.
In the event that a British soldier happens to be perish, the British government continues to transfer money to the widow. In other words, private and voluntary charities need not apply. The government transfers continue.

The Prime Minister has now decided to take it a step further. Should the widow marry someone else, the British government will keep the transfers going still.

I'm not sure what happens if the widow remarries another member of the military, and he were to tragically perish as well. Would she get two pensions into perpetuity? 

I'm also not sure if the Prime Minister understands that an incentive has been created for women to marry members of the military. However, based on my earlier translations, the Prime Minister (above all else) really appreciates your vote and your support.

As you can see, it takes a little bit of time to parse a couple of political sentences. I really appreciate the very few of you who stuck around to hear it. 

In closing, a society rooted in Liberty would adhere to a principle of non-aggression. No one may aggress against another human being. Only defensive force is permissable. Were that principle adhered to, we wouldn't be having this translation right now.
Countless numbers of people would still be alive, or would have had the dignity of finishing their lives in the past in a more peaceful manner.
If you're contemplating joining the British military...please don't. Stay with us, and with your family. Do anything else that's peaceful. Speak to former members of the military. If you're able to converse with enough of them, you'll quickly find out that war is the exact opposite of what the BBC portrays it to be. 
Give it some thought. 

1 comment:

  1. There is such a thing as a libertarian translator. It would be nice to be able to prove there are two, especially if they appreciate the virtue of terseness.